Find My Way Back to You
by Starlilly
Summary: They were in love, but Tai's job came first. Now, an investigation of some shady dealings brings them close again. But has anything changed or will Mimi always be second best to his job?
1. I Left You

**I Left You**

I remember every moment I had with him. Really. I know that some people when they are completely enamored with the one they love say that, but really don't remember. But I do. Every moment.

I remember our first date. He had made it sound like the whole group was going to an amusement park that weekend, and I had resigned myself to having to share him with everyone else. Then, when I arrived, it was only him standing there, waiting, a big blob of pink cotton candy sitting in his hand. He handed it to me, pecked me on the lips quickly, and then proceeded to give me the greatest day I had ever had at a park.

Every time I look at a roller coaster now, I can see his face flushed with excitement, feel my stomach flipping not because I'm scared, but because he was so _close, _and remember the feel of my hand in his when he grabbed it and held it tight, holding it above our heads as we went down the hill. Holding it high, so everyone could see.

I remember the first time I told him I loved him. It was a little over three months since we had started dating. I was sitting at the park near my house, one of our favorite places. I was swinging, waiting for him to appear. When he did, I was suspicious of what was behind his back. He walked up to me, grinning stupidly. I watched him, curious, as he pulled out a giant potted flower plant from behind him.

"Palmon told me that she didn't like when I gave you 'dead' flowers, that it made her sad. I thought that this would be a good replacement," he explained, handing me the multicolored violets. Tears suddenly sprung to my eyes as I looked at my sweet boyfriend.

"I love you so much," I murmured softly, but then froze. We had agreed to take things slow, so that we would be sure everything was real, not just said because we were supposed to by that time. Three months was, of course, a long time not to say 'I love you' even in teen dating time, even longer if you had loved your boyfriend since you started dating him. But I had waited, keeping my feelings to myself, till now. Was it too soon for him? What if I had ruined everything?

The smile slid off his face and he looked at me. I couldn't read the emotion in his eyes, so I looked at the ground, terrified. I was startled when his hand lifted my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. Warmth and something else were reflected there, something I had never seen in anyone looking at me before.

"I love you too," he whispered, hugging me close and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

That was also the first day that I knew what love looked like in someone's eyes. I had seen it in his. I hoped that he saw it shining there in mine, too.

I remember the day he proposed to me. We had been dating three and a half years. Everyone had expected us to get engaged long before now, but we didn't listen. We were still taking things slow, making sure we didn't ruin things by making silly mistakes. Our relationship was strong as a result. Even though I had been across the seas, studying in California for the past two years, we still were together, and barely even fought. I loved him so much, that even though I studied and attended class, and hung out with friends like normal during that day, sometimes I would just stay awake at night, thinking of when I would get to see him next.

Luckily, the summer came, and I spent every moment I could with him. That day, we were at the park, again. He was playing soccer with some of our friends while the rest of us watched off to the side. Once the game was finished, he jogged over to me, pecking on the lips and giving me a look that said he would do more if our friends weren't around. I smiled and pushed back some stray locks of hair, but drew back as soon as I realized that they were drenched in sweat. He smiled sheepishly at my face of disgust and dragged me away, waving goodbye to our confused friends.

He then proceeded to bring us to a kiddie pool in the middle of the park and jumped in, surprising all of the parents standing around, watching their kids. All I did was try to hide my face in my hands. The kids themselves were thrilled that he was there, and it took a lot of persuading on his part to get them to let him leave. He dragged me again to a little secluded, grassy hill where we laid out in the shade.

His head, not sweaty or wet anymore, sat in my lap as I ran my fingers through this hair. He sighed contently, snuggling his head deeper into my lap, commenting how my simple white linen sun dress felt nice and cool. I sat in pure bliss, trying to store this memory in my head for the next school year, to think over when I was all alone in bed.

I started when I felt something cool slip over my finger. I pulled it back, only to see a white gold ring there, a diamond in the middle with two small light green stones on either side. I gasped, and stared dumbly at my hand. I hardly noticed the weight of him being lifted from my lap as he sat up. He took my hands in his and knelt before me.

"I love you so much. You fill my life with so much light, that sometimes I can only stare at you and wonder if I am dead and you are an angel gracing me with your presence. But then I remember that I am alive, that you make me feel so alive." He kissed her hand, once on each knuckle. "Marry me, Mimi. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

My heart literally stopped, too full of emotions to move at all. When I could finally move, I launched myself into his arms. Not ready for my sudden attack, we fell over and rolled to the bottom of the hill. I proceed to cover his face in kisses, saying "Yes!" between each one.

That memory seems so far away sometimes, and even though I remember it, I sometimes wonder if I am watching someone else's memory.

I remember our sixth anniversary. We were still engaged, since we were waiting to save up some money before we got married. My father wasn't happy about us, and even though my mother insisted that he would pay for it, we decided not to rely on him for the wedding money. I had just graduated from my culinary arts school that summer, and was working at a good restaurant in Tokyo. He had graduated from Kyoto University a year before, and was immediately snatched up to start working with Digital World government branch.

We lived in a tiny apartment, but I didn't mind. It fit the two of us perfectly, intimately. It seemed especially big when I was left there alone. He had gotten so high up in his department that he was practically running the place, but that was no surprise to me. He was always a leader. Anyway, he started stay later and later everyday, trying to keep up with work. This left me alone, but I understood. I was a digidestined, I knew how important his job was.

Then, he started missing dates and dinners we were supposed to go to. I had thought that maybe he could get out of work on time if he had something specific planned in advance, but it didn't really work that way. But I loved him, so I made the excuses to others and to myself.

I always believed that if it was _really _important that he would come through for me. So three weeks before our sixth anniversary, I told him that I had a romantic, quiet evening planned for us, and that he could NOT miss it. Every time he came home late, or missed a friend's birthday or dinner party, he would still apologize, but my only response was "I don't care, just as long as you make it home on time on our anniversary.

The day came, and he left for work that morning, giving me a gentle kiss as he left. I had the day off, which I spent buying food and cooking it, and dressing up in my first fancy new dress in a while. It was soft and light green, Tai's favorite color on me. It matched the green from my ring, thanks to the help of Sora who had specially made the dress for me.

Six was approached fast, and everything was ready. Five minutes before six, the phone rang. It was him.

I can't say now that I was really surprised. I had hoped, but when his voice told me about the large report that needed to be completed that day, my heart didn't hurt and I wasn't really sad. I was just empty.

He sounded really apologetic, almost afraid of what I might say. I simply told him to hurry and that I would see him later. I hung up and put all of the food away until he got home. Then I got to work on my plan for the next day.

When he got home, I got the food out again and heated it up, and we shared our special dinner. He was especially nice to me, and everything was beautiful, just like I had planned it.

That night, he held me close as he fell asleep, and I just laid there, storing the memory of that night in my head for safe keeping. There hadn't been enough good memories of late, and I wanted one last, recent memory of our love. I had a lot from the beginning and middle, but I needed one good one for the end.

When he woke up that morning, I could tell that he thought that everything was fine. He was whistling as he walked to the kitchen, but stopped when he saw me in the hall.

"Morning, honey. What are you up to?" He asked, smiling.

"I'm leaving," I answered.

"Oh? Are you going out shopping with Sora? She mentioned something like that earlier in the week."

"No, I'm not just leaving the house, I'm leaving you," I said, trying not to let my voice crack.

His eyes widened, then he smiled an uncomfortable, fake smile. "Haha, Mimi, good one."

I moved aside so he could see my suitcase next to me. His eyes were disbelieving, and he looked around the apartment, only to notice all of my things had been removed. He turned back to me, alarmed.

I looked him in the eye, repeating the speech I had prepared yesterday. "I asked you one little thing. I just wanted one night out of this year to be about me, not about your work. And I couldn't get it. I know that I can be a selfish person sometimes, but this was so _small _that can't say I didn't deserve it. And I gave you advanced notice, and you still couldn't do it. One night."

He explained the importance of his job, and how others were counting on him. He explained he had tried, really. "Mimi, don't do this, I love you. I want to marry you."

"Really? We have had more than enough money for a wedding for a while now. I can't plan it, though, since you are never here. You can never commit to a date because of work. This just wasn't meant to be."

"I love you," he pleaded.

"I know, and I love you too. But I think you love your job more. And I think I love myself more too. I need to think of myself, since no one else will." I watched him, standing there sad and angry and confused, and I asked my last request of him. "Let me go, please? I don't want this to be bad. Let this end peacefully, because you love me. Do this one thing for me, since you couldn't do any of the others."

He walked up to me, and kissed me passionately. The tears I had been holding spilled over and I kissed him back. He pulled back suddenly, and looked to his palm where I had laid my ring. I picked up my bag and walked out of our apartment.

I remember the last glimpse of him as my lover. He was standing at the doorway, watching me enter the cab. I looked at him, waved, and got in. I watched him as we drove away, when he thought I couldn't see him anymore. He crumpled to the ground, sitting there silently, trying to hide his emotions from himself.

I try not to remember that, but as I said, I remember everything. I remember every feeling of love, hope, happiness, pain and nothingness.

I remember everything.

I could never forget Taichi Yagami.

* * *

AN- Man, this started off good and then the end just hits you hard. I hope I didn't make anyone the bad guy here. Tai really is a good guy.

You can think of this as the unofficial sequel to What Women Want. I won't be mentioning anything from WWW, and this stands on its own, but I imagine this story as how it would have gone on if it hadn't ended.

Till next time.


	2. Only to Come Back

_**Only to Come Back**_

A few months after I left Taichi, I left Japan too, and traveled back to America. Life bouncing from one friend's apartment to the next didn't cut it after a while. Plus, I saw _him _all the time, but we never talked, never made eye contact. It wasn't that we were angry, it was that we were in pain. None the less, it was still awkward for our friends.

My parents, who were living in New York, were thrilled to take me in. I guess that was one of the only good things about splitting your childhood between two countries: When you want to run away from one, the other is always waiting. I explored the place I had spent most of my teen years with enthusiasm and reunited with my old friends, Michael included.

Michael had always been easy to talk to, so in the absence of my other friends, I poured my heart out to him over coffee dates and dinners. But as soon as I realized that my parents and his were talking more often, that people were smiling at us at parties with knowing looks, I started to get nervous. It was confirmed by my mother's housekeeper that everyone thought that we were a couple.

I did the only reasonable thing at that point and ran away. Again.

To be fair, I said goodbye properly to everyone, disentangling myself from their lives with grace. Usually I could live with my parents constant matchmaking between Michael and I, because we were simply platonic friends. Nothing more. But this time, I saw something more forming behind Michael's own actions and words, and I wasn't ready for him. Not yet.

Only problem now, was that I had run out of familiar countries to flee to. So I went to California, back to my college town, and settled down. I got a job with a housekeeping journal, making recipes for busy mothers. I lived in a small flat by the beach, and down the street was an open air fruit market. It was simple living, but I loved it. But I was lonely.

My friends back in Japan weren't happy without me either. Miyako called constantly, demanding that I come back and deal with things. Sora called with less threatening messages, but the same meaning. Kari called a few times, not demanding anything of me, but simply wanting to talk. I couldn't face her, though. _He _was her brother.

Tai never called me. I never called him. I couldn't decide how I felt about him. I knew that I left Tai for a reason, and didn't regret it, but I couldn't force myself to stop caring for him. At some point, though, I started to stop thinking about him. Progressively I fell into my new life, not forgetting the old one, but not thinking about it either.

Three months after I moved to California, I got a letter that changed my pace of life. A few weeks after I left Japan, Sora and Yamato had finally started setting the date for their wedding, and in the mail on that fateful day was the official request for me to be her Maid of Honor. I giggled excitedly, looking over the dress ideas and all of the important dates I would need to be in Japan for (Sora already knew I would be her bridesmaid, as we had discussed so many times in the years of our friendship). I had even started planning what gifts to give them right away, before I realized what a wedding meant.

_He _could be there. He missed a lot of events, but then again, he did make it to a few. I mean, it was his best friend's wedding. He would be the best man, no doubt. Was I ready to see him again? I couldn't decide. I had simply repressed my feelings, not dealt with them.

None the less, I accepted the next day and made arrangements to fly to Japan for dress fittings and the bridal shower three weeks later. It was silly to be thinking about myself, when it was Sora's wedding. I could behave myself, and hopefully I wouldn't have too much interaction with Tai.

So I arrived in Japan and was welcomed by my female friends before being whisked away to Sora's clothing store to try on the dresses she had made for us. They were gorgeous, all silky and red. We laughed and joked like the old days, but it was different, too. Sora seemed giddier than usual, I wouldn't look Kari fully in the face and Miyako kept fidgeting and playing with her glasses.

We all eventually left to get ready for the party later, and I went with Miyako because I was staying at her apartment for weekend. I went into the bathroom to change into my simple black dress and when I came out, Miyako was sitting dejectedly on her couch.

"Okay, you need to tell me what is wrong, now," I stated, plopping down next to her. She looked at me with tears swimming in her eyes. "Uh-oh," I said and she flung herself into me.

I struggled to make out her sobs while supporting her weight leaning completely on me, but I caught one part very clearly.

"I'm pregnant!"

"Does Ken know?" I asked as her sobs died a little.

"No, not yet. I just found out two days ago, when I went to the doctor. I'm only about three weeks along. God, what will he say?"

"He'll be happy because he wants to have children with you. You just are going to be doing it a little..._sooner _than planned."

"But what about being married? He hasn't even proposed to me! I don't want to have a rushed wedding, either, even if he does. I'm gonna have a baby out of wedlock," she moaned, looking at the ceiling.

"Don't worry, Miyako, I'll be here with you, and so will Sora and Kari. It'll work out. Not to mention, I don't think Ken will care when you get married or when the baby is born in relation to that. He just wants _you_."

She smiled, the tears finally stopping, and we went to fix her makeup and talk about the future. She would be okay, I knew, as she told me about her ideas for the baby's room. She would be fine.

We arrived at the party later that night, and I was reunited with the rest of our friends. I talked with them easily, noticing one key person was missing. Same old Tai.

We ate dinner and sat around for hours after, chatting like only very old, close friends could. Sora met my eyes over the table, and motioned subtly for me to follow her. We got up with no one noticing and went to the bathroom.

"Mimi, there's something I've been meaning to tell you since you've arrived, but I haven't had the chance," She explained.

"God, you aren't pregnant, are you?"

"No, why?" she asked, looking confused and suspicious.

"No reason, really, so what were you going to say?" I asked trying to distract her. It worked, because suddenly her expression changed to a familiar one, and I knew what she was going to talk about. Or rather a 'whom'.

"No, don't-" I stated firmly, but Sora didn't seem to care.

"Mimi, I'm gonna say what I want because I know that you need to hear it, even if you don't want to. Mimi, he's moved on."

I was confused, seriously. "What?"

Sora sighed and continued softly. "He has started dating other people, one girl really. I thought you should know...

I just stared at her dumbly. "Oh. Okay," I said and then smiled awkwardly and left the room. I could feel her trying to follow, but I turned so many corners that I lost her eventually.

I didn't even bother to grab my coat as I headed down the hallway toward the door. My mind was just screaming for me to leave. I pushed open the door and started for the steps when I collided with something and stumbled.

The person caught me by my shoulders before I could fall down the steps, and when I opened my eyes cautiously, I realized fate hated me.

"Mimi..." Tai said, whispering it as if he couldn't believe it. I could hardly believe it myself, and blinked a few times to see if he would disappear.

I realized he wasn't going away, and that his face was terribly close to mine, so I stabled myself and took a step backwards.

We stared at each other for a few awkward moments before I spoke.

"Tai, its nice to see you. I didn't think you were coming..." I trailed off, looking away as I realized I hit a sore point between us.

He shifted slightly and sighed. "I had a late day at the office," he explained tiredly, and I looked at him with sympathy out of instinct.

He did look tired, and too skinny. I felt a flare of indignation. Wasn't his girlfriend trying to feed him? She should have realized he didn't eat without insistence after long days of work.

"You have better start eating better, Tai. You could get really sick. You don't want your girlfriend to worry," I said out loud. I was pleased at how neutral it sounded, like it was said by a friend and not a confusingly jealous ex-fiancé.

"Wha? Whoa, wait... Who would?-" Tai sputtered, and I was vaguely impressed at his alliteration abilities. "Who told you that I have a girlfriend?"

I blinked. "Sora, back in the party-"

Tai snorted and slumped down to sit on the steps. "Oh yeah, I've been seeing all the ladies, you know: Miss Job, that pretty employment, and long hours won't leave me alone."

I sat next to him. "The same old, same old, huh?" I said, but felt strangely happy at the news that he wasn't dating anyone.

Tai nodded and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Did you bring Michael with you?"

"What? No, no. I haven't seen him in months."

Tai frowned. "But I thought you were dating..."

We looked at each other and said in unison, "Sora."

I knew Sora was well meaning in this, trying to help each of us move on. But, with me at least, she was pushing where it wasn't welcome. I hadn't even begun to do anything with the mess that was our past relationship, much less consider starting another one. I ran away across an entire country to escape Michael, after all.

All I knew was that, at that moment, I was still very...attracted to Tai. Though he was disheveled and tired, he was still handsome, and their was something familiar in his gaze that had always made me give in to him. It was so easy to say yes to Tai when he looked at me like that. I couldn't even name what it was, but it was there.

It was strong enough, too, to drown out the thoughts in my head and allow me to stay with Tai on those steps, talking with him until I realized that we should probably go inside. He followed me, seeming at ease. Our friends greeted him and pulled him up a chair, and I avoided the girls' accusing stares.

We finally had to leave since the restaurant was closing, and we started to go our separate ways again. I congratulated Yamato and Sora one last time (avoiding Sora's attempts to pull me aside) and walked over to Miyako.

"Are you going over to Ken's tonight?" I asked, and she nodded, blushing.

"I think I'm going to tell him," she whispered back.

I had one of her extra keys, so I simply waved a final goodbye and got a taxi. I was in, and suddenly so was Tai.

He told the cab driver his address and we started moving. I looked at him, confused.

"Why do you get dropped off first?"

"Because my apartment is further away, so we'll have longer to talk," he explained.

"What if I don't want to talk?" I asked, defiantly.

"You don't have to," he replied, shaking his head.

We were silent for a while. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand.

"What if I don't want you to go back to Miyako's tonight?"

"Oh, Tai, don't do this..."

"Nothing will happen, I promise, I just don't want to be alone tonight. Not when I don't have to be," he said, fast.

I knew something would happen, but I didn't care.

I, too, didn't want to be alone that night.

Not when I didn't have to be.


	3. Just To Leave Again

**_Just To Leave Again_**

Yeah, okay. It was a huge mistake. Of course, it didn't really hit me that night, but it certainly hit me at 9:32 am the next morning.

I woke up a little after 9:00, blinking furiously at the sunlight streaming through the windows. I turned my head to see Tai, pressed up behind me and holding me to him with a firm grip. He had been so gentle the night before, but intense too. He had missed me, and I could tell.

He still kept fresh flowers in the vase on the table, even though he had complained about the money spent on new ones each week when we were together. I would always hug him and tell him that ambiance was important to me, and he would tell me to stop using big words to try and fool him. But he would let me buy the flowers still. It surprised me that he had kept it up in my absence, though. The thought that he had done it in memory of me made me smile when I saw them last night.

The presence of other little things that I had done, and the fact that they were still there, made it just that much easier to give into Tai the night before. It seemed so easy to just fall back into his life.

I tried to slip out of Tai's arms, but he wouldn't relinquish his hold. After an accidental hit to his jaw with my elbow, he opened his eyes.

"Where are you going?" he asked, traces of worry in his tone.

"I'm going to make us breakfast while you shower," I told him, smiling.

He nodded, and after pulling me close for some kisses, he let me go to the kitchen.

I hummed a happy tune while pulling pans out from the same spots they had always been, and heard the shower turn on. I was surprised, however, to hear someone knock on the apartment door. Tightening Tai's bathrobe around me, I checked the peephole and then opened the door to an unfamiliar woman.

She looked confused to see me, which made me kind of relieved. I didn't want to be the only feeling lost at the moment, after all.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

She was pretty, with long black hair and an adorable top that I made a mental note to find and buy later. She tightened her grip on a bouquet of flowers in her hand, and gave me a fake smile.

"You are Mimi, aren't you?" she asked. I nodded, and she stalked angrily into the apartment.

I followed her in, not really understanding what was going on. Although the look on Tai's face as he stepped out of the bedroom and saw her told me that he had a better idea than I did.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in an upset tone.

"I was going to surprise you by taking you out to breakfast! I thought that we were talking about getting more serious, being exclusive…" she cried.

Tai shook his head. "No, I told you I didn't want that."

"But you didn't tell me because you didn't want it because you were still seeing you ex-fiancée!" She retorted, pointing at me in rage.

And it all clicked at once. Sora telling me about his girlfriend, the woman standing here pointing an accusing finger at me, and the flowers she brought in to replace the almost dead ones in the vase.

The fact that Tai had lied and was dating other people actually wasn't that part that upset me. For some dumb reason it was the flowers. He wasn't even the one buying them! He let this woman I don't know replace the flowers for him.

I started for the bedroom, needing to find my dress so I could leave. Tai followed me in, closing and locking the door so the flower hussy couldn't follow. I didn't even acknowledge him, just throwing off the robe and quickly pulling on my dress.

"Mimi, you need to let me explain. I told you I didn't have a girlfriend because I don't. She doesn't matter to me like you do. I don't want any other girls, I want you!"

I put on one of my shoes that had been lying at the foot of the bed, and started searching for the other.

"Do you hear me, Mimi? I've missed you like crazy! Everyday since you left Japan I've been worrying, trying to get as much info as I can from Sora and Kari. I just need you in my life."

Where was my other damn shoe? I picked it up from under the chair in the corner and slipped it on. I grabbed my purse and started for the door, but Tai was in my way.

"Mimi," he pleaded, looking hurt and sorry.

God, this was even harder than the first time. I hugged him fiercely, and he returned it. When he loosened his grip I made for the door and got through it before he could blink, having unlocked while distracting him with the hug.

He followed me out, yelling, "You can't do this again, please!"

I finally faced him, feeling pain restrict my throat.

"Tai, if you missed me so much, how could you let a woman into your life? Even the thought of dating again hurts me so bad, and now I find out that you are almost seriously dating this woman? Plus, nothing has changed. Late again for the party last night, Tai. You are always a minute too late and a word too short. I need commitment, Tai, not excuses," I said in a surprisingly steady voice.

"I love you still, Mimi," he whispered.

"Love can only get you so far Tai," I replied, and walked out the apartment door.

* * *

This was not how I envisioned the trip to Japan. What happened to keeping a clear head and not making any mistakes concerning _him_? God, I can't tell Sora. She'll flip when she hears I didn't believe her.

Sitting near the fountain in front of Miyako's apartment, I consider Tai. I guess it was nice to know he was handling this just as bad as me. I realize, of course, that I left him so that he could see how much I did for him, how much he should try to do for me. Unfortunately he seemed to have found someone to fill my spot. Somewhat.

He still loves me. He can't move on because of that, but we can't get back together because there will always be girls there, filling in my role, not letting him learn what he needs to.

Maybe that was the best we were ever going to have. Each of us having someone that will commit fully to us, but still be stuck in love with each other. Maybe it was time to fill Tai's spot.

I flipped open my cell phone, and ignoring the two missed calls from _him,_ I dial a number.

"Hello?" Asks a masculine voice.

"Hi Michael. It's Mimi," I reply.

I try not to think of this as running away from the problem again, but it sure feels like it.

* * *

AN- I'm just a writing fiend lately. Blame my late night job where I don't have anything to do for eight hours except surf the internet.

This story has gotten really drama based. Its kind of weird to write in this tone, but I kind of like it.

Thank you to all of my reviewers!

DivineAngel143

Lady-Azura

Darkest Illusions

SushiLuver

Crimson Blademaster


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